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1) Initial appointment/assessment/interview (Meet 'n' Greet)
This appointment is known by many names, across the counselling profession, such as initial assessment, appointment or interview, which sounds really formal, if not a bit intimidating, so I like to also call it a 'meet 'n' greet' as it's a very informal and relaxed meeting, and is simply there for us to get to know each other a little bit better, before we commit to becoming client and counsellor.
In this session I'll introduce myself and the way I work, so you can get a sense of whether I'm the right fit for you, because that's really important. The therapeutic relationship is key to our success together, and for you to have the most powerful, encouraging and meaningful personal journey. So, it's really important you like what I have to offer, and that you feel like I'm the kind of person you can open up to and be honest with, as we get to know each other better.
I will also invite you to tell me a bit more about why you're seeking counselling. This session will be very different from other sessions, in that I'll have a set questionnaire, asking you about your life, living circumstances, how you're eating and sleeping patterns are and so on, so I can form a whole picture. I'll, therefore, go through a lot of questions in the 60 minutes we have together, and not explore too deeply.
Finally, this appointment offers you the chance to ask any questions you might have about me or about counselling and/or share any concerns or fears, you might have. There's also a 'frequently asked question' section on my website, if you want to get a head start.
If you decide you want to carry on and book in for your first real session with me, there'll be a contract to fill out and sign, and a short CORE questionnaire, which offers me a brief insight into your current state of mind.
As this is not a normal counselling session, this appointment is offered at £30, rather than the standard £60. My fees and availability can be found HERE.
You can read more about my contract and confidentiality, the new GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation) and privacy policy HERE.
This appointment is known by many names, across the counselling profession, such as initial assessment, appointment or interview, which sounds really formal, if not a bit intimidating, so I like to also call it a 'meet 'n' greet' as it's a very informal and relaxed meeting, and is simply there for us to get to know each other a little bit better, before we commit to becoming client and counsellor.
In this session I'll introduce myself and the way I work, so you can get a sense of whether I'm the right fit for you, because that's really important. The therapeutic relationship is key to our success together, and for you to have the most powerful, encouraging and meaningful personal journey. So, it's really important you like what I have to offer, and that you feel like I'm the kind of person you can open up to and be honest with, as we get to know each other better.
I will also invite you to tell me a bit more about why you're seeking counselling. This session will be very different from other sessions, in that I'll have a set questionnaire, asking you about your life, living circumstances, how you're eating and sleeping patterns are and so on, so I can form a whole picture. I'll, therefore, go through a lot of questions in the 60 minutes we have together, and not explore too deeply.
Finally, this appointment offers you the chance to ask any questions you might have about me or about counselling and/or share any concerns or fears, you might have. There's also a 'frequently asked question' section on my website, if you want to get a head start.
If you decide you want to carry on and book in for your first real session with me, there'll be a contract to fill out and sign, and a short CORE questionnaire, which offers me a brief insight into your current state of mind.
As this is not a normal counselling session, this appointment is offered at £30, rather than the standard £60. My fees and availability can be found HERE.
You can read more about my contract and confidentiality, the new GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation) and privacy policy HERE.
2) First session
During our first real/normal session together, I'll need to collect a little bit of background information about you and form a fuller picture of you and your life. This is done using what's called a 'time line'. This simply means that you'll tell me your life story, from birth and until today, with some thoughts about the future. I usually take out pen and paper and draw and note along a straight/chronological line, while you talk, which I'll share with you afterwards, and will probably use in future sessions as well.
This means that our first session together will be a little bit more structured than usual, just so I can get to understand the 'bigger picture' better.
But far more than being about my own needs, when creating this 'time line', it offers an important therapeutic insight into your life and way of narrating your story - an insight I'll share with you at the end of the task, so we can reflect together on the meaning being exposed by your story telling.
Please note, that this is not an obligatory task, so if you're not wanting to do it, we don't have to, and if I don't find it of therapeutic value, due to the issues you're coming to counselling with, I won't engage with it either.
During our first real/normal session together, I'll need to collect a little bit of background information about you and form a fuller picture of you and your life. This is done using what's called a 'time line'. This simply means that you'll tell me your life story, from birth and until today, with some thoughts about the future. I usually take out pen and paper and draw and note along a straight/chronological line, while you talk, which I'll share with you afterwards, and will probably use in future sessions as well.
This means that our first session together will be a little bit more structured than usual, just so I can get to understand the 'bigger picture' better.
But far more than being about my own needs, when creating this 'time line', it offers an important therapeutic insight into your life and way of narrating your story - an insight I'll share with you at the end of the task, so we can reflect together on the meaning being exposed by your story telling.
Please note, that this is not an obligatory task, so if you're not wanting to do it, we don't have to, and if I don't find it of therapeutic value, due to the issues you're coming to counselling with, I won't engage with it either.
3) All further sessions
All further sessions will be based on what you want to focus on, on any given day. I might make suggestions to ways we can work with a problem or a technique/method to use to engage more deeply with an issue, but it will all happen within your comfort zone, while paying special attention to your beliefs and values, and working within them.
I will offer readings and worksheets to take home from time to time (not every time) to help you continue working with your problems between sessions. This helps on keeping the momentum going for you, on your therapeutic journey, and it can, therefore, help speed up your self-discovery or recovery and healing. There is no pressure to engage with whatever I offer you - it's simply suggestions intended to aid you on your journey.
Every now and again, I'll check in with you, to see how you're finding the counselling, if you have any adjustments you'd like to make, anything you find missing, or want to do more of.
This is to ensure I'm doing my job according to your wishes, and it also invites you to openly and honestly express yourself, in a way we often don't get to in 'real life' where we might fear confrontation or upsetting the other. Counselling is a 'dress rehearsal' for life and you should feel safe in speaking your mind and sharing your feelings without censorship. This is what I welcome.
All further sessions will be based on what you want to focus on, on any given day. I might make suggestions to ways we can work with a problem or a technique/method to use to engage more deeply with an issue, but it will all happen within your comfort zone, while paying special attention to your beliefs and values, and working within them.
I will offer readings and worksheets to take home from time to time (not every time) to help you continue working with your problems between sessions. This helps on keeping the momentum going for you, on your therapeutic journey, and it can, therefore, help speed up your self-discovery or recovery and healing. There is no pressure to engage with whatever I offer you - it's simply suggestions intended to aid you on your journey.
Every now and again, I'll check in with you, to see how you're finding the counselling, if you have any adjustments you'd like to make, anything you find missing, or want to do more of.
This is to ensure I'm doing my job according to your wishes, and it also invites you to openly and honestly express yourself, in a way we often don't get to in 'real life' where we might fear confrontation or upsetting the other. Counselling is a 'dress rehearsal' for life and you should feel safe in speaking your mind and sharing your feelings without censorship. This is what I welcome.
How Many Sessions and How Often?
I do address this under Frequently Asked Questions section and I'll also discuss this with you during the initial assessment.
The short answer is - it's up to you. You are paying for my services, and I'll therefore be flexible around your wishes, as much as I can.
Generally, you're offered the same time slot, as to fit around other clients, but you can choose to come weekly, fortnightly, monthly or ad hoc, which will impact on the time slots I can offer.
It is worth considering what it means if you want to meet less than weekly. How will that impact your momentum and engagement with changing what you wish to, or your overall emotional learning outcome?
The length of counselling is also up to you. I recommend no less than 10 sessions - it does take a few sessions for me to get to know you, and for both of us to understand any given problem indepth. Many people have more than 10 sessions, and some stay in therapy for a year or more. Many come with a specific problem and think it'll only take a few sessions to 'fix', but during their journey, they realise there are lots of benefits to take this time for oneself, for personal growth and development, that it's actually quite wonderful to allow yourself time for yourself and your feelings and be deeply listened to, and that there are more things going on underneath, that might be good to have a look at.
It is all individual.
You're under no contract to stay any longer than wish, no matter what we've agreed during the initial assessment.
I do address this under Frequently Asked Questions section and I'll also discuss this with you during the initial assessment.
The short answer is - it's up to you. You are paying for my services, and I'll therefore be flexible around your wishes, as much as I can.
Generally, you're offered the same time slot, as to fit around other clients, but you can choose to come weekly, fortnightly, monthly or ad hoc, which will impact on the time slots I can offer.
It is worth considering what it means if you want to meet less than weekly. How will that impact your momentum and engagement with changing what you wish to, or your overall emotional learning outcome?
The length of counselling is also up to you. I recommend no less than 10 sessions - it does take a few sessions for me to get to know you, and for both of us to understand any given problem indepth. Many people have more than 10 sessions, and some stay in therapy for a year or more. Many come with a specific problem and think it'll only take a few sessions to 'fix', but during their journey, they realise there are lots of benefits to take this time for oneself, for personal growth and development, that it's actually quite wonderful to allow yourself time for yourself and your feelings and be deeply listened to, and that there are more things going on underneath, that might be good to have a look at.
It is all individual.
You're under no contract to stay any longer than wish, no matter what we've agreed during the initial assessment.
Ending Counselling
Some relationships come to a sudden end, where the client no longer turns up, others come to an ending at an agreed time, and others again, don't even happen before it's over.
Counselling can be a very emotional and sometimes difficult journey - after all you're dealing with feelings and perhaps things you've never told anyone about before, feelings of shame or guilt, or overwhelming sadness, loneliness or personal fears. It can, therefore, be very hard to even build the courage to come to the initial assessment, and it does happen that people cancel last minute.
Others choose to reschedule and reschedule, wanting counselling, but can't make themselves go, due to various fears and concerns, such as anxiety to opening up to a stranger, and in the end never turn up.
This is perfectly understandable and you won't get in trouble, if you fall into one of the above categories. It is, however, worth noting that your counsellor most likely became a counsellor, and got into private practice, because she/he really wants to help people, and that they feel very passionately about what they do. However, just like you, there's bills to pay, a client schedule to maintain, and advertisement to do, so please do consider this when you're not sure if you want to attend counselling.
Unfortunately, it also happens that a client stops attending because they do not like what the counsellor is doing in the sessions, or just don't feel that the relationship is right for them, but that can seem too difficult a situation to be honest about. I can totally relate! Telling a counsellor you don't like them, sounds really uncomfortable and confrontational, and if you quite like being liked by others, it can seem easier to simply 'disappear' than being honest. But please know that I will not be offended or get upset, if you're honest with me about such things. Please know, that I welcome this conversation, so I can improve as a counsellor, and be a better counsellor towards others. Please, don't cancel or never show up again, if you're upset about how our counselling is going, please take this opportunity to use your voice and be honest, knowing there'll be no negative consequences, and allow it to be a rich learning experience for both of us.
Finally, there's the agreed ending. This can happen from one week to another - 'I think next week should be my last session' - or with a few month's notice - 'I would like to finish on the 1st of May'.
It's very helpful for the counsellor to have this agreed ending and round up their work with you. It should, hopefully, likewise, give a sense of closure to the client, to have a last, more casual and relaxed last session.
Some relationships come to a sudden end, where the client no longer turns up, others come to an ending at an agreed time, and others again, don't even happen before it's over.
Counselling can be a very emotional and sometimes difficult journey - after all you're dealing with feelings and perhaps things you've never told anyone about before, feelings of shame or guilt, or overwhelming sadness, loneliness or personal fears. It can, therefore, be very hard to even build the courage to come to the initial assessment, and it does happen that people cancel last minute.
Others choose to reschedule and reschedule, wanting counselling, but can't make themselves go, due to various fears and concerns, such as anxiety to opening up to a stranger, and in the end never turn up.
This is perfectly understandable and you won't get in trouble, if you fall into one of the above categories. It is, however, worth noting that your counsellor most likely became a counsellor, and got into private practice, because she/he really wants to help people, and that they feel very passionately about what they do. However, just like you, there's bills to pay, a client schedule to maintain, and advertisement to do, so please do consider this when you're not sure if you want to attend counselling.
Unfortunately, it also happens that a client stops attending because they do not like what the counsellor is doing in the sessions, or just don't feel that the relationship is right for them, but that can seem too difficult a situation to be honest about. I can totally relate! Telling a counsellor you don't like them, sounds really uncomfortable and confrontational, and if you quite like being liked by others, it can seem easier to simply 'disappear' than being honest. But please know that I will not be offended or get upset, if you're honest with me about such things. Please know, that I welcome this conversation, so I can improve as a counsellor, and be a better counsellor towards others. Please, don't cancel or never show up again, if you're upset about how our counselling is going, please take this opportunity to use your voice and be honest, knowing there'll be no negative consequences, and allow it to be a rich learning experience for both of us.
Finally, there's the agreed ending. This can happen from one week to another - 'I think next week should be my last session' - or with a few month's notice - 'I would like to finish on the 1st of May'.
It's very helpful for the counsellor to have this agreed ending and round up their work with you. It should, hopefully, likewise, give a sense of closure to the client, to have a last, more casual and relaxed last session.